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indyngav
Aug 14, 2022
In FYI/ASK Resource
Empathy is a cornerstone to the FYI/ASK resource, and recently we took time out from focusing on aspects of the toxic triangle to explore (in some depth) some of the different types of empathy. To recap these are cognitive, emotional and compassionate empathy, but it doesn’t stop there… The concept of empathy has now been with us for several decades now and is a cutting edge of conscious evolution. There are seven kinds of empathy that have been documented so far: These consist of ‘three delusional ones, three real ones, and one that is the turning point between the two. Today we take a deeper look at how complex empathy can be… The latest FYI/ASK resource guide entitled “Types of Empathy Part 2” can be downloaded for free below, or from the FYI/ASK Initiative page.
FYI ASK Types of Empathy - Part 2 content media
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indyngav
Aug 13, 2022
In FYI/ASK Resource
Toxic shame is a feeling that you’re worthless. It happens when other people treat you poorly and you turn that treatment into a belief about yourself. You’re most vulnerable to this type of poor treatment during childhood or as a teen. When you feel toxic shame, you see yourself as useless or, at best, not as good as others. We take a look at how shame can become toxic, just what a danger it poses to you and how you can recover from such trauma. The latest FYI/ASK resource guide entitled “Toxic Shame” can be downloaded for free below, or from the FYI/ASK Initiative page.
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indyngav
Aug 09, 2022
In FYI/ASK Resource
Much of the FYI/ASK revolves around triangles. We began by introducing the Triangle of Success, and today I am going to introduce you to another triad, this one however, very much nestles within the darker depths of the Toxic Triangle. For within the toxic traits aspect lies the ‘dark triad’. When it comes to personality types and traits, I've gleaned two takeaways as I have been putting together the variety of resources within the FYI/ASK that run along a parallel path. First up is to proceed with great caution when interacting with folks who exhibit the dark triad cluster of personality traits: Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and narcissism. Second is that empaths are the opposite of narcissists in that they are healers who absorb the emotions of others in a benevolent, loving way. But according to recent research published in Personality and Individual Differences, those two learnings can be melded in a singular personality type. It is here we are introduced to something called the dark empath, who mixes the traits of the dark triad with an ability to understand others' emotions. A master manipulator, the dark empath might be the most dangerous personality type there is. The latest FYI/ASK resource guide entitled “Dark Empaths” can be downloaded for free below, or from the FYI/ASK Initiative page.
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indyngav
Jun 26, 2022
In FYI/ASK Resource
Obviously we discuss empathy quite a lot throughout the course of the FYI/ASK, no great surprise because empathy is the cornerstone of everything we do, and while we have approached subjects such as EQ vs IQ in the past, we have, until now, just focused on empathy as a single ‘entity’. Yet that isn’t necessarily the case. Empathy isn’t the same in everyone and comes in some notable variations and capabilities. During the course of this resource guide we are going to ‘deep dive’ empathy and uncover the traits inherent in the various classifications of empathy and the effect they have on the real world and your perception in it. The latest FYI/ASK resource guide entitled “Types of Empathy” can be downloaded for free below, or from the FYI/ASK Initiative page.
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indyngav
May 15, 2022
In FYI/ASK Resource
Starting this month, keep an eye (or should that be ‘i’) out for FYiSPY. Toxic people are (sadly) not a rarity in this day and age, and the FYiSPY is a new initiative designed to keep in mind key traits of a wide variety of toxic and enablement behaviour patterns. Whilst it might be perhaps seem to be presented in a ‘game-like’ fashion, its inspiration harking back to that childhood favourite pastime during long car rides - I-SPY, the intention behind it is deadly serious. For in the hustle of day-to-day life it can be easy for our mind and our attention to be distracted and gloss over, or simply not acknowledge negative behaviours on display. Yet as we have often discussed within the FYI/ASK resource, the first step to dealing wiht a problem is recognising the problem. Behavioural blindness is only going to allow toxic behaviour to propagate and fester. The idea of the FYiSPY is to aid in training your inner empath, your minds eye, to start to recognise these traits on an intuitive, almost subliminal manner. Keep an eye open on the ‘News Feeder’ on the ‘Home’ page.
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indyngav
Apr 29, 2022
In FYI/ASK Resource
There are days its like fighting a losing battle, but that doesn't mean you stop fighting. The reason toxic individuals hold such a sway around our world is that they have a huge resource of tricks and tactics they employ. In the case of the Narcissist they have a massive range of psychological and emotional warfare that they can employ against you in order to wear you down and leave you questioning why you even embarked on resisting them. One particular trick toxic people have up their sleeve is the Apath - They are often fearful people. They often fail to perceive the threat: a danger is of no importance if you deny its existence. An apath’s response to a toxic individual's call to arms can then result from a state of ‘learned helplessness’. Apaths behave defencelessly because they want to avoid unpleasant or harmful circumstances, or worse, having to face the TRUTH! [including the narcissist turning on them]. Perhaps, at its heart, apathy is an avoidance strategy. “Stand up for Truth, even if you stand alone. Stand up for what is just against the unjust, even if it means standing alone. Stand up for what is right, even if it means standing alone.” In the coming weeks we shall be exploring the harsh unforgiving world of the empath, and asking the very pertinent question - are you an empath or merely an apath, and if ou are truly an empath, what kind are you? The latest FYI/ASK resource guide entitled “Are You Your Own Worst Enemy” can be downloaded for free below, or from the FYI/ASK Initiative page.
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indyngav
Mar 12, 2022
In FYI/ASK Resource
It's much easier to be your own enemy than your truest friend, and it often seems like a better idea. It's safe, it prepares us for other peoples' opinions and ideas, it's "realistic," it's obvious, it's... effortless. Something that tends to slip past a lot of people is that your thoughts and your ideas and your beliefs and your perceptions are creating your life, even if you're not conscious of it. The car is on autopilot, the point is to realise that you're the one pressing the gas, and at any point, you can choose to steer. Loving yourself is being your own best friend, your own caretaker, your own confidante and your own source of fulfilment. It's a heavy task to get there, and it's something we're usually discouraged from: people want us to buy into the idea that external happiness yields genuine fulfilment. It keeps the consumerist market and their own insecurities alive. But it's often not practical. We all eventually realise that our lives aren't going the way we want (in whatever way) and that it's up to us to change them and steer them away from the iceberg that will ultimately sink us all. In reality, being your own worst enemy is just another way of shouting at the Universe: "I didn't make this, so I shouldn't have to control or change it. I didn't choose this, so I shouldn't have to undo it." We can shout all we want, yet that is basically guaranteeing that at some point or another, someone else will deny us love, and we'll be sh*t out of luck. The latest FYI/ASK resource guide entitled “Are You Your Own Worst Enemy” can be downloaded for free below, or from the FYI/ASK Initiative page.
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indyngav
Mar 12, 2022
In FYI/ASK Resource
“Oh what a tangled web we weave. When first we practice to deceive” This is a quotes from Scott's epic poem, Marmion: A Tale of Flodden Field. What it means in essence is that when you lie or act dishonestly you are initiating problems and a domino structure of complications which eventually run out of control and take everything down around you. The world needs more truth. Truth with others. Truth within yourself. But the hardest task of all is perhaps getting the unbeliever to believe. Nit just in themselves, but in the evidence all around them. For just as the Devils greatest trick was convincing the world he didn’t exist (vague Usual Suspects reference for those who didn’t get it) getting the child of a narcissist to see they are a child of a narcissist is perhaps the hardest task of all. Still, there is always that hope that one day they will have that ‘light bulb’ moment. Recently we have been lifting the lid of narcissism. What we discover within has been a generally unpleasant soup of character flaws that have a tendency to spill out and soil everyone in the surrounding area with its negative energy. Though, narcissists themselves are not perhaps that hard to deal with. Certainly a lot of narcissists find their way to positions of power in Government etc, and they require a diffract tac when it comes to handling them, but your day-to-day narcissist CAN be rendered impotent by the simple steps of stopping contact, walking away and shutting the door. But let me guess, in the face of such advice you are giving me a myriad of excuses…well therein lies the problem, and it is a problem that will follow you around for the entirety of your adult life, tainting and soiling as you go. Since narcissists can’t develop the ability to empathise with others, they can never learn to love. Unfortunately, this doesn’t change when narcissists have children. The narcissist parent sees their child merely as a possession who can be used to further their own self-interests. They often have issues with boundaries, both physically and emotionally, and unload a lot of emotional baggage onto their kids. This makes children the narcissistic parent’s primary source of comfort — and sometimes their punching bag, literal or metaphorical. This may mean the parent pressures and pushes the child to overachieve as a way to lift their own sense of self to themselves and in front of others. Narcissists also view the world in a binary manner: Things are either viewed as special/ideal/perfect or worthless/harmful/garbage. There is no in-between, and they treat their children according to those extremes, thus you often find families with a narcissistic parent has a ‘Golden Child’, one elevated far above all others, for any ‘love’ from a narcissist - and I use that word in its very loosest way - is born of conditions. This leaves their children wanting desperately to please them (to be on the “love” side of the spectrum, rather than the darker, more hateful side) and they’ll even let their narcissistic parent control their lives, just to keep things running smoothly. Likewise, as long as kids cater to the narcissist’s needs and make them feel good about themselves, they’re more likely to respond positively, making the child’s home life more harmonious and less like walking on eggshells. So you see, when it comes to narcissism and its offshoots, its not so much toxic triangle as toxic web. The latest FYI/ASK resource guide entitled “The Child, The Narcissist & PTSD” can be downloaded for free below, or from the FYI/ASK Initiative page.
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indyngav
Mar 09, 2022
In FYI/ASK Resource
Another year has passed, and while each successive year seems to become more chaotic that the one before, there remains a constant - and that is the FYI/ASK yearly eBook. We start by Introducing the Toxic Triangle Before exploring: Rude Awakening for Rudeness Passive Aggressive Pandemic Getting a Grip on Gas-lighting Bullying and Emotional Intelligence Fear Green-Eyed Monster OCD The Rise of the Malignant Narcissist Reading Between the Lines Bringing Closure to Closure Misogyny Under the Microscope Enemy Within Workplace Bullying An Introduction to NPD
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indyngav
Mar 09, 2022
In World of Wellbeing
Whether you pick up a newspaper, turn on the television, listen to the radio or browse the world wide web. There is only one topic on everybody's lips. You would be forgiven for thinking that absolutely nothing else is happening in the world around us, that everything else is on indefinite pause for a week, a month, a year even, while we get to grips with a life changing event that threatens to change the way we live (at least in the short term) ​ So what is the purpose of this FYI/ASK eBook special? Quite simply it is intended to focus on facts, not fears. It is designed to alleviate those irrational paranoias that have taken hold. For not only are we in the midst of a pandemic, but also an ‘infodemic’ of conflicting and false information that may well prove to be more devastating that the virus itself as we are bombarded with a near endless torrent of information.
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indyngav
Mar 09, 2022
In World of Wellbeing
Workplace bullying and harassment can lead to psychological harm and negatively affect organisational processes. Collection of information on the prevalence of bullying and harassment nationally can provide an indication of the extent of this problem in Australia. ​ Compiled by Safe Work Australia
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indyngav
Mar 09, 2022
In World of Wellbeing
In this FYI/ASK eBook special we will explore the tyranny of toxic people and the damage they can cause in your life both professionally and within your social circle. We delve into what drives toxic people to do what they do and promote strategies to help you extract them from your life, and explain why you ARE better off without them.
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indyngav
Feb 19, 2022
In FYI/ASK Resource
It has become increasingly commonplace for an FYI/ASK Resource Guide to run to 6 or 7 pages, sometimes more! Such is the depth and complexity of the topics which the FYI/ASK now seeks to tackle in order for you to have a true understanding of the subject matter, and, in turn, be fully ‘armed’ against it. But I understand that sometimes it can be a daunting undertaking to read and digest the resource guides in a single sitting. Now while the format of the FYI/ASK Resource will NOT be changing, from this point forward, each guide will have an accompanying ‘SnapShot’. This will take the form of a single page summery of the topic and these can be found on the FYI/ASK Initiative page of the website as well as being uploaded on this page. Keep in mind that a single page can only contain a small amount of information and that in order to fully get to grips with the topic at hand it is advised that you all take the time to read the full FYI/ASK resource guide.
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indyngav
Feb 18, 2022
In FYI/ASK Resource
Welcome to the latest FYI/ASK Resource guide. As a continuation on the topic of narcissism, we will be taking a look at perhaps the very worst end of the narcissistic spectrum, malignant narcissism. It was here that I got thinking, and having recently watched the new Bond movie, ‘No Time To Die’ a few things struck me. Firstly, when I listened to the title track of the latest Bond movie was just how the lyrics actually mirror the viewpoint of a victim of someone with narcissism… lets take a look….. “Was I stupid to love you? Was I reckless to help? Was it obvious to everybody else That I'd fallen for a lie? You were never on my side” Narcissism would be a common theme in Bond movies, for what makes a memorable villain but one who is a malignant narcissist, someone who learns to shape the world to their narrative and destroy all around them that oppose their will or seek to subvert their ideals, or just not conform to their world view. When you view the movie as a whole there certainly seems to be a theme of letting go and moving forward…both these are tactics that need to be utilised when dealing with NPD (- unless you are a 00 agent in which case you ultimately have no choice but to confront them in a one on one showdown with the safety of the entire world at stake!) The song also offers sage advice when it comes to dealing with narcissists… “You're no longer my concern Faces from my past return Another lesson yet to learn That I'd fallen for a lie You were never on my side Fool me once, fool me twice” Ultimately, you have to understand that just like a super villain, the narcissist will never change and you have to question how many times you will fall for the same old lies and promises and false hope before you see that the future, by its very nature, lies ahead of you and not behind. In fact, when you look at the movie as a whole, a common through line about how holding on to the past and constantly looking over your shoulder will ultimately be your downfall and sometimes a sacrifice is needed in order to move on. Indeed, at the start of the movie Bond is questioned about his constant need to 'look over his shoulder' and his holding onto the past rather than letting it go (in reference to his obsession with Vesper) is exactly what his arch nemesis uses against him in order to bring him back out of hiding and once more into the fray. For the narcissist cannot let go, the narcissist NEEDS a foil in order to justify his or her very existence. Yes, the movie is a sad testament to how the past can destroy us if we spend too much time with our eyes fixed on the rear view. But lessons can be learned and the movie leaves us with hope too, a way forward, new life The latest FYI/ASK resource guide entitled “The Rise of the Malignant Narcissist” can be downloaded for free below, or from the FYI/ASK Initiative page. And James Bond - No Time to Die is available to buy now.
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indyngav
Jan 27, 2022
In FYI/ASK Resource
Cast your mind back to 2019 BC - thats ‘Before CoVID’, and I doubt that many of us were so obsessive about hand hygiene. We should've been of course, but the pandemic has highlighted a need for educating people about what it is to perform adequate hand washing and the need for sanitising. So are we al becoming a nation, indeed a world of OCD? No, as repeated patterns of behaviour like this Such behaviours have been well represented on the big screen, with Leonardo DeCaprio’s portrayal of Howard Hughes in ‘The Aviator’, which is of course an film biography of Howard Hughes the famed American aviator and filmmaker who is well known to have suffered from this condition. Additionally, Jack Nicholson in the movie ‘As Good As It Gets’ in which he plays someone whose life is disrupted by ritualistic behaviours. Another example is the film ‘Matchstick Men’, where Nicolas Cage plays a con man who opens and closes a door three times while counting before he is able to walk through it. So as you can see, OCD from these examples, OCD can be highly disruptive in your life. The latest FYI/ASK resource guide entitled “OCD” can be downloaded for free below, or from the FYI/ASK Initiative page.
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indyngav
Jan 16, 2022
In FYI/ASK Resource
Jealousy is a common but complicated emotion. It’s a combination of feeling insecure, overwhelmed, scared, and at a loss. It is natural to feel jealous every once in a while, but in the long-term, it can have a negative impact on the individual and their relationships. Common symptoms of jealousy include resentment, frustration, impatience, anger, and general unpleasantness. Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety. Jealousy can consist of one or more emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness or disgust. In its original meaning, jealousy is distinct from envy, though the two terms have popularly become synonymous in the English language, with jealousy now also taking on the definition originally used for envy alone. These two emotions are often confused with each other, since they tend to appear in the same situation. The latest FYI/ASK resource guide entitled “Green-Eyed Monster” can be downloaded for free below, or from the FYI/ASK Initiative page.
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indyngav
Dec 11, 2021
In FYI/ASK Resource
Firstly, apologies for the delay in updating this time around. Technical and connection issues have created complications. Normal service has been resumed. What is NPD? Simply put, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism is a cornerstone of the toxic triangle, and has been mentioned in many previous FYI/ASK resource guides, primarily as it can act as a foundation for many other toxic traits that can have an insidious effect on our lives through a variety of means. Certainly we have seen narcissism play out of the world stage in quite intimate detail - we only have to think back to the calamitous presidency of Donald Trump, as well as the aftermath of the American election, where he utter refusal to acknowledge reality and accept truth has really sent the U.S. spiralling into a new dark age. Donald Trump falls within the scope of the very worst sort of narcissist - the malignant narcissist. You see this is the crux of it, narcissism isn't just a blanket term to describe a toxic personality disorder, for within that description there is a sliding scale of types and traits. In this latest issue of the FYI/ASK resource, we take an overview of this very damaging trait. The latest FYI/ASK resource guide entitled “An Introduction to NPD” can be downloaded for free below, or from the FYI/ASK Initiative page.
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indyngav
Oct 27, 2021
In FYI/ASK Resource
I am going to start by asking you two questions. Firstly; Do you enjoy watching horror or disaster movies? Secondly; How well do you feel you have fared during the CoVID-19 pandemic that has gripped the world for nearly two years now? There’s a saying; ‘There’s nothing to fear. but fear itself.’, but is that really true? Do we really need to fear, fear? We need to understand fear and the many ways it can manifest, both rational and irrationally. But if ‘fear’ is so negative, why is the horror movie genre the single most profitable film genre there is? Fear is an emotion, induced by the perception or the recognition of a phenomena which can pose a danger or a threat to us. Fear causes psychological changes within us and as a consequence can cause behavioural changes, such as a mounting aggressive response or a desire to run from the threat - the classic ‘fight or flight’ response. As the pandemic took hold in 2020, many turned to what might have been seen as a surprising activity - watching horror movies, and as the pandemic has played out these past two years almost, much of what has occurred has been like living within a disaster/horror movie for many. So why did people turn to watching horror as a means to navigate the pandemic? One group of researchers in America surveyed a group of people to find out.
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indyngav
Oct 09, 2021
In FYI/ASK Resource
Last time we explored the toxic trait of bullying and how insidious it can be in the workplace. We will be continuing our exploration of bullying this time, but specifically we will be understanding the part that emotional intelligence plays in it - or, more specifically, the lack of emotional intelligence. After all, emotional intelligence is the foundation stone of the FYI/ASK so it is important to understand how this concept plays out in real time. The latest FYI/ASK resource guide entitled “Bullying & Emotional Intelligence” can be downloaded for free below, or from the FYI/ASK Initiative page.
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indyngav
Oct 03, 2021
In FYI/ASK Resource
We all know it, we have all seen it from time to time. Maybe even participated in it? Even if not actively, you may have as a bystander - there is a lot of truth to the adage that 'you promote what you permit'. Simply put, workplace bullying is repeated “unreasonable behaviour” directed towards a worker or a group of workers that creates a risk to health and safety. Unreasonable behaviour is behaviour that seeks to victimise, humiliate, undermine or threaten a worker. It is often an abuse of power by someone who is stronger physically, verbally, mentally, socially, electronically, positionally, politically or financially and the after effects can be quite traumatic in the long term. Instances of workplace bullying have the deliberate intent of causing physical and psychological distress and can include behaviour that intimidates, offends, degrades or humiliates the victim in front of co-workers, clients or customers. Bullying can range from manager to worker (downward), worker to co-worker (sideways) and workers to manager (upwards). The very real truth is that from time to time we are all held in the thrall of cognitive dissonance, and it often takes a great act of inward courage to recognise and admit this to yourself. The latest FYI/ASK resource guide entitled “Workplace Bullying” can be downloaded for free below, or from the FYI/ASK Initiative page.
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indyngav

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